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0:00
Hi, my name is Susan Raines.
Today, we're going to talk about
negotiating with
difficult people.
This is information
you can use in
your everyday life inside
and outside of your work,
and to identify what might
be making someone difficult
so that you can
then be strategic
in how you deal with
them and work with them.
I am currently a diplomat
with the United States
Department of State.
Before that, for 23 years,
I ran the graduate
master's program in
Conflict Management at Kennesaw
State University in
the state of Georgia,
and I work with
Fortune 500 companies
and international organizations
to help their teams
function better to avoid
conflict when possible,
and to respond to
it when it arises.
0:43
Okay, let's dig right in.
First, we have to know how
do we recognize
personality disorders.
I'll just throw out
some numbers for you.
10% or less in general of
the American population,
and I would assume this isn't
wildly different
internationally,
but probably a little
bit different,
about 10% of Americans have
some personality disorder,
and that would include
things you've heard of
like narcissism, antisocial
personality disorder,
borderline personalities, etc.
We're going to talk about
how do we recognize them,
and then how do we
deal with them?
Because when you're negotiating,
you can actually use the
knowledge of their disorder
to help make this
negotiation go better
and predict what kind of problems
you're going to run into.
1:27
A narcissist thinks that they're
just the most important
person in the world.
They always believe that they
are more important
than the group,
and that their needs are
more important than others
and they need a
lot of attention.
You can massage their egos
and say things like, "You
can be the hero here
by making this
negotiation concession,"
or "If you do this, people
are really going to think
a lot of you for doing this."
You can be quite bold in
your assertions there
because they like it and
they don't find it stunning
because they believe
they are amazing
and different than
everyone else.
So the fact that you recognize
it just means you're smart.
So you can use that
to your benefit.
Borderline personalities
are confusing
